Hello everyone!~

Long time now ^_^

Ellen deus! (I not your idol BlackRose anymore ne ^^ sorry guys!~)

4 months already that I not writing any new more post here.....

but I got mind to writ something today lolz 55555

Why am I got mind for something up?!!?

YES!!~~~ today is special day ne ^^

Today Nov - 03..............

For the first time I found out what my true talent and what I really want to be......

(of coz I good at trans news and faster updater admin too..........well..........I mean what I really really want to be in my life................) sadly................it's not Idol admin or blogger lolz T^T (so.............whatttt I leaving all behind me lolz.............my sites and blogs T^T sorry..........again)

For the first time...............I making costumes for some fris (ex-friends I mean ^^ of coz I SUPER HATE them now...........wanna make-up?! NO THANKSS!) 

I don't really have much confidence about myself that time............but I really worked hard........not sleep for week+ as I remember............

NOV - 03 2013..........its the first time in my life that I can be really genius lolzzz 

(**for real world I mean..........I kinda tired for internet idol ><)

that EX-fris dancing on stage with my handmade costumes.........

when I see them..........I feel something different for very first time.........

that "WOW!~so beautiful!~and you are the one who made them!!"

**can't believe my eyesss OMG!!~ *O*

OK! for my genius part................I quite know that I really work harder than other ppl

so.................and for the other side of me.........I really love cutting papers and handmade things and I really good at that since age of 05 lolz 5555555555555

so I told myself why don't keep try to making costumes and dresses?! and I thought if I study well.............I can be pro too ^_^ (OHH ya!~ I quite pro now xPPP)

Why cosplay costumes?!

Ohhh yaa can notice lately.........I watching and kinda like anime and Japanese stuffs

(basically I'm Japanese translator in sites too so........)

and I found out that bring something from 2D to real world 3D is really WOW thing :D

So............final answer.........I want to become costume designer.....

(as my genius part..........I found out that in 5 mins..........while they dancing on stage ^^)

that's one of the reason why I never forget Nov03 lolz............

(for other heart breaking part..........

plz let's skip lah u might hate to heard really bad words ^^)

today............the officially 1 year that I start making costumes.....and I never thought public will accept me................Hummm why am I think like that?! well............I kinda popular with my cold personality in my country lolzzz XDDD (not in SG of cozzz!!!!)

so...............but well I try to change it ^^ and I good at acting too so.......

Super happy that some ppl already accept my works and mostly my costumes won the prizes in contests too :') 

and..............for the first time I got mind to stop being admin or anything and live normal lol :'(

OK!! no more blames......that idea not come out so easily lol.............it's break my heart many times to cut that relation with all fans and my duties lol :'( especially my SS (well........I still love them and FOREVER I will!!~~only my support way is different now....) 

BUT!! well...............finally I can............and I got what I want now too ^^

and I will answer my famous question now..............

(I guess most of u want to know........coz I never make it officially........)

Why u stop being admin?!

For the first time when I found out what I really good at...........I remember my childhood dream is to become Pro-designer......and I just notice that it's not too late for me to start and working hard for my life.........so I think about problems seriously!

1. Company MD?! (like my mom.......)
Ans : NO!!! I don't think I want to be like her lolz of coz I need to take care my family business someday...........but too bad I got no idea for it still now xD

2. Idol from internet and Admin?!
Ans : YES!!!! I love to popular around and live friendly and traveling around meet fris.......^_^

and I can support my SS as much as I want freely!!~ <3 <3 <3

but...............what can it give to my life?! nothing!!! :'( 

3. Designer............or photographer?!

Ans : Well!!~ YES I really good at that I think XD 

I mean I good at digital stuffs but I found out I more good at handmade stuffs....

like I found out my other-self in that part.......

Oh ya............why costume designer?! normal designer might be too boring so....XD

so..........Final result............I stop being admin and kinda stop studying photography too XDD

and now!~ here I am! live happily with my costumes lolzzzz I being admin for 7 years.......and I think it's enough for me stop being childish and grow up!~ coz u know ne.......even my co-admins who younger than me.......they always worry about me and keep eyes on me coz I more crazy fan than other XDD now.....u guys don't need to anymore :') I can stand by myself now ^^ I just keep moving forward but without all of my beloved ppl..........:') TripleS your are my only 1 family and can accept who I am...........but it's time for me to say offically good bye :)

Don't worry guys.................your EX-admin is now living happily without worries.......and I use to having some fris here too ^^ I just happen to choose the way of living and keep walking without him.......my JM I love him so much.......but that's why I need to forget him! love is weakness lol hahahaha and I really mean it............"IM SORRY!!" some of u might don't like current myself now and want old me back...........but it's will not happen I not coming back! so just accept reality and keep moving forward too ^^ Good bye my belove world.........it's too good to have memories for 7++years lolz

Why am I speak out this after 1 year later?! yes.........my brain too good and I can remember all things even I just use to said I forgot >< (coz sometime......forget words is really good lol)

Nov - 03 

the most special day for me.......coz it's my FAV member of SS501's birthday too ^_^

생일 축하합니다!!~허영생 my price :') I miss u so much!~~~ and if one day...................if I still can...........I want to see you...........ALL of u...........our SS501 <3 Forever Together As One!!~

Endd!!~~ Thank you for reading ^_^ and see ya agaiN!~
Ohh wait I going back to SG in 03 Dec so...........see ya all!~ >3<

Love ya!~ ;)